"We could do better than this" sneered Whoopsi J, less than impressed with a bland, to-remain-nameless Manchester restaurant guide.
Over the course of an evening, two jugs of Devon Lemonade, several bottles of wine and heated debates about burning issues of the day, such as 'Is Noel Fielding a metrosexual', and 'Guardian reading', a plan was formed. Whoopsi J and the Test-Card Girl determined to embark on a gastronomic tour of Manchester, detailing their exploits and restaurant reviews here on Gastromanc.
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DISASTROMANC: TEST CARD GIRL IN TRAUMATIC TEA SHOCK
The future of top blog 'Gastromanc' was recently plunged into doubt by the extraordinary actions of a mystery villain, suspected by many to be the evil 'Deborah Con Carne'. On viewing the somewhat gratuitous picture of the behatted comedian Noel 'Mowgli in Flares' Fielding, she came over all-of-a-quiver and attempted to destroy TCG's weapon of choice, the hallowed laptop. An onlooker, who asked not to be named, said, "it all happened so quickly. It's the children I feel sorry for." Admittedly, the onlooker was talking about a separate incident, but there was no-one else available for comment at this scene.
A police spokesperson insisted that all other bloggers in the area ought to be on their guard. The shaky hand of Con Carne may well be dangerous and ready to strike again. The Greater Manchester constabulary are on the lookout for a female of average build with tea stained fingers. A penchant for male comedians in make up and electronic music may also be giveaway clues. TCG's recall of the incident was hazy, but she was insistent that she could hear cockerney-knees-up-merchants Chas'n'Dave in the distance, doing their classic hit 'Ain't no Pleasin' You'. This particularly sickening twist in the attack is believed to be a red herring.
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